My Water is Cloudy....

Three summers ago, right after my family of three had relocated to a town nearly three hours from the only place I'd ever known as home my husband helped make a long time wish of mine come true. Given our new home and rather large back yard, we put in a pool. For as long as I can remember, way back to when I still played dress up, I have always wanted a pool.

I had the picture in my head of how it would be, how much fun we'd have as a family, how tan I would become, never once did it cross my mind how much time and money that went in to keeping that thing suitable for afloat.  There's so much more to pool ownership than picking the perfect float (because the ones that allow you to soak up the water are the best) or using the right SPF.  Being a first time pool owner, I had no idea there needed to be weekly cleaning with a vacuum that is nowhere as easy to manipulate as a Hoover, the right winterizing chemicals had to be used at end of season and there is even a particular way you should cover your backyard vacation in preparation for the colder months ahead.  It's a constant job, but it's one that I had always wanted  right?  

As we open our pool for the third season of use the water is no where near the crystal blue of seasons past,  clouds galore align within my circular escape of tranquility, all because I slipped on a few chores when ending the season last year and let some crud take camp at the bottom. My husband calls me over-dramatic, I come by it honestly, but it's rather safe to say that I was throwing somewhat of a hissy fit over this less than perfect water. Sitting in my back yard last night sulking and staring endlessly at the liner I wish I could see, I had a moment.  Am I really here pouting over some cloudy water?  Is this really worth my wasting my time and negating any positivity within my day.  I had this thought, and I may deny it to anyone else but I was actually thinking,  how spoiled am I? Here I sit so upset just because my water is cloudy when I should be glad I have water at all.  This also prompted me to think about all the aspects of life that one sentence could apply too, my water is cloudy.  

Society as a whole today drives us to believe that we have to possess certain things, act certain ways, be part of certain groups.  We're lead to believe that appearance is everything and by no means should we ever go out of the house with looking less than stellar, behave in any manner less than desired.  Our homes should be clean, laundry complete, dinner on the table.  Our children should be the example of manners, our marriage without conflict. Society even tries to coach us and influence as to what we should believe and only that is considered to be politically correct.  Our families are to be  without any drama, conflicts or disagreements, there should be no cloudy water in our pools of life so to speak. Society has apparently never been to a "real" family reunion, you'll drown in cloudy water at the park that day. 
There are days when I believe I am drowning in cloudy water, there is no shame in my game.  My laundry may be piled up for days but we have clothes. My house isn't always clean but at least we have a roof over our heads, my dinner may be microwaveable or bought at times but we have food to eat.  I often have to remind my daughter to say "please" and "thank you" however; I wouldn't trade her for the world.  My husband may frustrate me to no end at times (i.e. the reason for the actual cloudy water in my pool ha ha ha )  but we love unconditionally.  My family invented crazy and you better believe we push the boundaries on that stereotype everyday, but I have a family, I have love in my life.  Makeup doesn't touch my face everyday and let's just say it wouldn't be hurtful if I could find time to get a run in a couple days a week.  My clothes aren't always ironed and I wear a hat more days than I wear my hair down.  Here's the thing though, I'm alive, I'm healthy, I am able to work everyday, I am able to take all my blessings and make the life I have been blessed with great.

Perfection is overrated and perception is what you make it. Maybe someone looks at me and sees the slob I feel like I am most days or maybe someone looks at me and sees a working mom and wife just doing the best she can, nothing I do is going to change that.  I'm going to embrace my cloudy water, use it to help me grow, become a better me and those that truly know my heart will want to swim in my pool anyway.  

You've Taught me More Than any Professor, Mentor or Teacher I Have Ever Had....Thank You

Last huddle and prayer of the Spring 2016
Tournament Season

Each time a season of our lives end I like to reflect.  It's almost like I feel that if I do not write about it I'm not doing that part of my life justice.  It is my belief that memories, life experiences and the relationships you make along the way make up the largest portion of who you were, who you are and who you're going to be.  What you take in and take away from those experiences prepare you to deal with anything life may throw at you.  

Being that basketball is the other woman in my husbands life ball season is always full of experiences. Who knew basketball was a year round sport? Take it from this Coaches wife, it is. This past weekend wrapped up the spring portion of AAU season and even though I should be ecstatic that my daughter and I will not be living out of a gym or referring to a hotel as home every weekend I can't help but be a little sad.  The best way to describe what it feels like is this, it's kinda of like family from out of town has been visiting for weeks and the dreaded time for them to go home has came. You knew in the back of your mind you couldn't keep them with you forever, but you were just having so much fun. 


For the past two months my very small family of three became a family of double digits.  Spending every weekend with multiple sets of families, staying in the same hotel, eating meals together, carpooling together,  just being together, leads to loads of experiences, memories and too many inside jokes to count, you become family.  One large group of people with the same end goal in mind, help these kids, guide these kids, so that they're given every opportunity available.


First Weekend of the 2016 Season, TYBA Session 1

One of my absolute favorite pastimes is aggravating my better half about his obsession with coaching, I have to admit though, I've enjoyed it just as much as he has.  Even though the amount of time he puts into this is enormous (because he doesn't half way do anything) and it takes away from his time at home, even though my yard may not be the best looking on the block due to weekends reserved for tournaments as opposed to grass mowing, even though our pool may not be useable until June, even though it may mean I have to attend a couple parent things solo, I would not want it any other way.  Call me crazy (some may say I am) but when I see the results of what all this time has been sacrificed for, my chest gets that warm feeling. When speaking of results I'm not referring to a win / loss record,  I'm referring to the relationships formed, the friendships made, the memories shared. The character development of young men and the fullness of comfort that they have someone they can come to whenever they need an ear to listen, a kind word to encourage or a hard truth to keep them in check.  The fact that I see them walk away knowing they have someone in their corner that will be their biggest fan but be the first to "keep it real" with them when needed,  that makes my chest swell with so much pride for the man I married and the sons I've borrowed.  

Watching the bonds and relationships develop within this team has taught me more than any professor, mentor or teacher I've ever had.  The sacrifices made are well worth it to have a front row seat to see something this special, something this rare be formed.  It's almost impossible to have a husband head first involved and the wife not be along for the ride, I mean seriously who do you think keep the husbands in check?  Ha ha.  I feel beyond blessed that my Coach is "all in" while it has allowed me to watch and form some great friendships. 

As the this season of our lives end I'll leave with this...

Remember these relationships and take them with you wherever you go in life. These memories,  hold them close always and recall them often.  That jubilation, reminisce about it every time you need a silver lining on a cloudy day.  The adversity, use it to guide you through difficulties you may come across down the road. Most importantly, never forget what got you where you are, even the simplest things,  remember the path and do not deviate from it.  

 
We go with a great thanks to a group of young men.  Thank you for being respectful, kind, generous and remarkable.  Thank you for being the older brothers our daughter will never have.  Thank you for the school pick-ups, the attendance at WWE parties and the demonstration of the "Five Knuckle Shuffle". A special thanks for the sarcastic wit you've instilled in our 11 year old, so much so that when she speaks she sounds like one of you. Thank you for being the sons we may never have and becoming a part of our family we didn't know was missing. For the endless jokes, the help in planning "not so surprise" parties, the chauffeuring when needed and the conversations we thank you. Thank you for helping  a Coach recall why it is that he loves what he does so much at a time when it was desperately needed. 

Thank you parents for loaning your sons to a family that needed it at the time.   For loaning us an extra brother, son and friend we thank you.  Thank you for your never ending and unwavering support. Thank you for your generosity and kindness. Thank you for giving my husband the opportunity to mentor your child, for giving our family the opportunity to be a part of such wonder young men's lives, even if just for a small portion of time.  For the relationships, the memories and the experiences we thank you. Most of all, regardless of what the future holds, thank you for making our small family bigger, always.