I've heard this quote multiple times in my life, although I've never grasped the true meaning of it until now.
In 2012 we made a decision as a family to move away from the only plac I'd ever known as "home". And anyone, whose walked in my shoes, would have known that the decision made was made because it was the best for all three of us in our home, was it easy to leave? No. Did I do it to intentionally hurt someone? Not a chance. Do I miss my loved ones? Everyday. Do I regret our decision? Absolutely not. Do I get homesick? Depends on how you define "homesick". Distance has taught me two very important lessons.
One, being "homesick" doesn't always mean what you think it does, it's not being sick for a "house" or the house you grew up in, it can mean being sick for your loved ones, those friends and family you consider "home", or it can mean you just miss the way things used to be, that's what being homesick means to me. It means that I long for the way things used to be, during a time when smiles and laughter filled the air, when inside jokes were shared, when road trips were a regular occurrence, when you could feel the love poring out of the house we were gathered in, when relationships weren't strained and troubles didn't triumph the joy.
I take and display way to many pictures. This is why, I have experienced moving on to a new chapter and loved ones deciding not to make the journey with me, and I want to be able to think about those "good" times and smile. I want to keep those memories so fresh because I know it'll never be that way again, the relationship between the people in that photo will likely never be the same.
Two, that relationships are a two way street, you can't be the only one making effort. If someone is really important to you, you make time to check on them and vice versa. You make it a priority to sustain that friendship. Those who make the effort to be there despite distance and disapproval of your location, those are your lifetime people, and more than likely the people on that list aren't always the ones you were sure would end up there, and that's okay. It's okay to that some things will never be the same, it's okay they do not come on the journey with you, you take the memories of them and carry them with you always. You remain grateful for what was and excited about what's to come.
Bottom line is this, your decision won't always be favorable to everyone, but those that truly care for you will respect it, they will not try to undermine it, they will not try to tear your family apart, they will not selfishly think about only how the decision effects them negatively but they will think about what a positive it is for you, for your child and be encouraging. They will respect that you're just trying to give your child a better life than you could have ever dreamed of, that you only want to better yourself with opportunities so you can be someone your daughter looks up to. They will understand that this decision in no way means you care for or love them any less, that you in no capacity, maliciously wanted to hurt them, that you don't long for you both to make the effort to ensure the relationships don't change, because you do. What they should understand is that you just want to make the best life possible for those in your home, that you want to give your child every opportunity you possibly can in this life.
What's even more important is that it is understood that this life, is yours and you make the decisions, it doesn't mean you aren't grateful for the past and everything anyone has done or does to help you. Will you always make the right decisions? Heck No, but you'll learn a lesson. Will I raise my child the way I feel is best? Yes Will everyone always agree with it? No. Realize that you aren't really wanting agreeable understanding, you just want respect. Respect and love go hand in hand. Understand that this is life and although it may not be the way you dreamed it to be or in the most desirable circumstances for everyone the only thing that really matters is that you're doing what you feel is best and doing your best. You pull up your big girl panties and you push on.
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