From the Sideline: Mistress, This Bed May not be Big Enough for Three Anymore

Dear Mistress (Basketball),

I accepted you because you brought joy to his life and great people into mine.  I applauded you because you taught me many life lessons and how to recognize those who are truly genuine and care about others. I came willingly into this marriage knowing that he had another love in his life and I would have to share his attention. That in reality, I was not his first love and I was okay with that because his passion and drive to help others was one of the many reasons I fell in love with him. I knew beforehand that most of my nights October-March would be spent in a gym, that there would be limited times we would set down to eat dinner together, that he would be at the gym more than he was at home and I accepted it, I supported it.  I jumped in head first, going to all the games, having team dinners, traveling all throughout the summer and taking part anyway I could. You, Basketball, were his passion and I wanted to support him fully. I invited you into our home with open arms, treated you like family and it wasn't long before I was cuddling to you at night too. With any relationship, I know there are going to be ups and downs, no relationship is perfect, but I have to wonder if maybe, I have been trying to hang on for us all. We may have reached the point where this bed is just not big enough for the three of us anymore.

While one of the things I admire most of my better half is his determination to succeed and his need to help others reach their dreams, it is this characteristic of his that is now keeping us all awake at night.  It seems as though, here lately, you only bring out the worst in us, you only bring heartache, stress and adversity.  I've watched you, Mistress, strip away happiness from those I love the most, dull their fire and implore me to question if there are really any good people left in the world. You have paved the way for doubts to grow, to open myself up and let this world make me bitter by showcasing the bad things only.  In the grand scheme of things I know that there are things in life that are so much bigger than you that lies between us at night, we're blessed in too many ways to name; but with that said, I can't help but maybe think you may be the catalyst for the majority of our heartache.

I miss the days of game tape, new coaching videos, hilarious text conversations, a house full of smelly boys and a young little girl just wanting to learn the game she has watched her Dad love. Those happy times have now been replaced with drawn out sighs, sleepless nights, grey hair, the constant fear of failing those around you and misplaced anger at those who mean the most and are closest to you. I long for the days of true friendships, a true feeling of team, the love of the game, the laughter and excitement in the air.

Basketball, this leaves me to wonder if we have reached an impasse, have we reached the point that I must "Go Hazard" and kick you out? Must we site irreconcilable differences and sign on the dotted line? Over the years as his Mistress you've become a large part of my life too,  you've become my family, you've brought wonderful people into my life and good memories in droves, but as of late, moods are sour, tones are harsh, expectations are fleeing and tension lives at the surface. I have to confess, I did see this coming, he tried to tell me and I didn't believe him.  I kept pushing and cheering convincing him that better days were coming, that soon he'd see something, he'd have a revelation that brought him back around to willingly being in our relationship. I had faith that the Mistress he had loved for so long, unconditionally, wouldn't completely turn her back on him, that you would remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place.  Maybe that was selfish on my part, honestly, I just wasn't ready to let you go either, I worried what would happen if you were no longer such a large part of our lives. Now, I worry what will happen if I continue to let you sleep between us at night.

So, Mistress I ask you- please show us a sign,  give me anything to ensure that I don't need to put my hair up, remove my earrings and throw hands with you.  Give me a glimpse of something indicating that the tide will change, that the good guys can win, that all his work and the work of those around him has not been for nothing. Throw some gas on that fire that seems to be fading in all this adversity, remind him of what you once had. Initially it was my intention to plea to you to prevent him from walking away from you all together, now, I just hope that you make our last days together memorable.

The truth of the matter is, YOU, Basketball, need him just as much as he needs you.  You need him to remind kids that there are still adults out there that only want what's best for them, that someone is out there with no hidden agenda and just the will to want to see them succeed.  You need him to show kids that there are people that will be in their corner long after the ball has quit bouncing. You, need him to teach kids that doing the right thing is the only way to do things. You, my dear Mistress need him to show kids how to fall in love with the game again, to remind kids that if they work hard good things happen. Take your sassy, somber, joy-stealing personality back to where you have been hiding it and bring back the happy again or this bed is just going to continue to get smaller and you may find your butt on the floor. This world brings enough of the bad stuff into our lives and I won't allow you to do the same. 🏀🏀🏀🏀