Moments

Everyone has a "moment" - one particular point in time when something alters your entire life and sets into motion a whirlwind of emotions and events that you may have not ever encountered if you had not experienced that "moment".  In fact, most probably have more than one "moment", I can think of several just off the top of my head - some I probably never thought I would credit as good.  

It's 2:30 AM on a Saturday night and I am awakened from a dead sleep - in that very moment - things came into focus clearer than ever before.  You see, that is the thing about "moments" - you can't possibly be prepared for them so how you react speaks volume about your character.  I aged ten years on one Saturday night, I learned a life lesson and I learned a lot about myself, who I was, how strong I was and what I am capable of.  That Saturday night was several years ago  - and so many things in my life can be traced back to that "moment".  My strength as a woman and mother and my ability to pick myself up, off the ground, dust off my hands and keep moving.    

Post "moment" I began to look at things differently - I began to look at myself closer asking the questions everyone will ask at some point in life - How did I get here?  Who am I? Why me? Can I do this?  At that point in my life - I wasn't where I needed to be or necessarily where I wanted to be, but I was there and it was comfortable.  When we as individuals are comfortable in situations, not necessarily happy, just comfortable we often do not want to disrupt ourselves.  My disruption was needed  and without my "moment" the disruption may have never surfaced.  I wasn't living anymore - I was just existing (isn't that what that lady said in "The Family that Prays" ).  You see, where I was pre "moment" was not at all in the plans. Which the plans never really pan out all the time - show me one person completely fullfilled the "In 10 Years" page in their senior book.  Things needed to change, I needed to change my path - so I did - again - credit to my "moment".   

There are so many "moments" that have taught me a great deal about myself and the ways of the world.  I guess, that is why we have them - so we are forced out of our "comfort" zones, pushed to our limits and learn to overcome any adversity in life.  Like it or not - all our memories make us who we are - all those "moments" even the ones we would like to forget help develop our character as individuals.  Recently I have come to realize that no matter what -  once our "moments" happen they are always going to be there - how we dealt with them at that time  and  how we choose to let them affect our lives in the present is what shapes our character and becomes part of how we are remembered  as individuals. 

The Good Guy Doesn't Always Win

Webster defines adversity as a state of instance of serious or continuous difficulty of misfortune. My preference is to acknowledge it for what it is: a big load of crap.  And let's just be honest, no one wants to deal with crap.  Unfortunate as it is, life from start to finish will be filled with adversity because let's be real, no ones life is as perfect as their Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram or any other social media platform I have named, portrays it to be.  We all have to deal with crap, so make sure you keep your shovel handy.  

Lessons you live through are the most important ones you'll ever receive,  sorry teachers but you know I'm right. Life continues to teach us well after we acquire prestigious degrees, life's lessons last until we take our last breathe.  Adversity is teaching tool number one and it has taken me a very long time to accept that shoveling crap (aka dealing with adversity) should be appreciated because it molds you, strengthens you, shapes you and builds your character.  Whoever thought that crap would make you a better you. 

There's always gonna be challenges, in all shapes and forms and sometimes on consecutive days, so as parents or leaders it's important that we are the example, that we send our youth out into this world prepared for what is going to be thrown at them.  Our younger generation needs to know that, there really aren't that many happily ever afters, the good guy doesn't always get the girl and ride off into the sunset.  Your modern day glass slipper may be more like a Tom with a hole in the toe.  Cheaters sometimes do win, and once you've lost lost multiple times you will be tempted to cheat. But knowing this should be all the proof you need to hold on to those rare moments when you get to experience the good in the world, when the good guy gets to stand on the top of the podium you better photograph and document the heck out of it. 

There will be people in this world that just get pure delight in assaulting your character or ability and stooping to their level for revenge may seem like it's a good idea but it's not. As much as you don't want to admit it,  pushing that little boy in the mud hole on the playground because he pulled your hair didn't feel as good as you thought it would. 

Just because someone says "I got you" doesn't meant they really "got you". People you can trust are few and far between, you really should keep your circle small. In today's society it is rare that you find someone who's going to go to bat for you unless there's something in it for them. They're not always gonna keep your secrets and more than likely they're gonna talk behind your back.   So when you find these rare creatures, those that will walk through the storm with you, that will stand beside you through adversity, those that will be your voice when you can't, put them under lock and key. Those are lifetime people.  

Life is not always fair.  The best student doesn't always win the spelling bee, the nicest girl doesn't always win homecoming, they guy with the best arm isn't always quarterback and the quickest guy isn't always the point guard. If you want to be involved you have to prepare yourself for this. As bad as we want to believe that things will be done the right way, that they will be done fairly and everyone will be treated equal, that's just not the case.  Someone at work will always want to point out your faults, a friend will always want to have something better than you.  That promotion you've worked so hard for, the one you deserve, you won't always get it and it'll be obvious that the person who did get it didn't deserve it. This is our world, this is life. 

Now that the crap is out there how do we dig ourselves out?  I'll tell you, you take the road less traveled, you stand out, you use all the negative to make your character unbreakable.  You put your head down and push through the crap, you push past the jealous, you push out the malicious and you keep getting stronger. You grab adversity by neck and you crush it. How do you do this? Be a lifetime person, be selfless, be loyal, study harder, work harder, dig in deep when someone tries to push you out of the way, stand tall for what you believe in, stand up for who you believe in, do the right thing even if it doesn't benefit you. Be the best you there is and do it so boldly that you can't be ignored and that the bad guy stands out. Take adversity head on and be thankful for it, relish in it and use it to your advantage. How you come out of this storm is completely up to you but you can guarantee you won't be the same as you were when you went in, if you want the glass slipper go get it. Fight the good fight, fight when you feel like you can't fight anymore, do not give up, do not run and even if your certain you're gonna lose, make sure you go down swinging. In all aspects of life you get to chose, are you a victim or victorious.